Just Give Me a Reason

Just a second we're not broken just bent
And we can learn to love again .. I am LOVING this song a lot :)

Correlation and Causation

MIRACLE HAPPENS

I never visited my blog site for quite a period of time and sometimes I wonder why I stopped writing. Whenever I ask myself why, I always remember a dear friend who is by heart a very good writer, she always would say " I don't want to do writing out of compulsion ". She must be very right. I don't want to be compelled too to write when my heart is not in it. But today was different. I am currently spending my 'fifth' hour in front of the computer. I didn't browsed a lot of websites in fact I was only watching some of my favorite shows I've missed in ' iwantv ' and did some 'Pinteresting'  and visited 'Facebook'  but I knew I am emotional today, deep inside I feel restless and mushy I simply couldn't understand why. I was about to shut down the laptop and was ready to take my late afternoon nap when I had a sudden urge to visit my blog site. Here I am, writing ( not out of compulsion , but is out of my LOVE and GRATEFULNESS to my Dear God ). 

April 20,2012 - This exact Date , A year ago , I was in a different situation. I came across my entry where I announced my MOM was finally out of the hospital after being confined for almost two months.

Fast forward for today , my Mama is still half-paralyzed, is legally blind, confined in her bed all the time unless she's willing to be placed in her wheelchair sometimes, she wears adult diaper, could no longer help herself when she wants to pee or poo, she has a very short memory of the present , throws mood swings most of the time, and there is a very little chance to stand and walk again. Sounds morbid and sad? 

NOT AT ALL. :)

My Mama Nora, one year after the storm has passed is more funnier than ever, more healthier than she can ever be, more opinionated and the most active stroke patient you will ever meet. It may sound sad to you all hearing that she is physically unable to walk and help herself but she miraculously moved most parts of her body than a normal stroke patient may have. Physical Therapist can only do so much, but Mama even started to feel itch on the part of her body where doctors declared where her veins are dead. I remember a time I was sitting right next to her as she recounted her days in college, when her right arm suddenly felt itchy, and since she can't move her left arm to reach the other one she asked me to rub her right arm with TLG. I was perplexed if she has her own version of TLG ( 'coz she does that all the time ), then I asked her, and true enough just as I thought, she said "Tender, Loving, Care" and said " Alam mo naman medyo mahina pa tayo ngayon ay mali .. Matanda na pala ako nagyon - haha". I laughed with her and she laughed louder than I did. She also have her own jokes on how we failed to pay for the electric bill that is why she can't see in the dark, at first I was really alarmed as to how she was taking the fact that her vision was also taken away from her, I was worried that her comment was part of her denial of the situation. But eventually I came to realized she's not denying anything, in fact she wholeheartedly accepts everything. 

One of my closest friends came to visit her in our house one day. I was inside the bathroom and so I asked my friend to sit and wait for me in our living room. I can hear my Mama talking from inside her room, I thought maybe my friend decided to go straight to my Mama's room anyway. I was surprised to see my friend quietly seated outside and patiently waited for me. Then I told her, I thought you were inside Mama's room and was already talking to her. My friends face lit up and was so surprised to know that it was my Mother who was talking after all. My friend thought it was my sister who did all the talking. I am sharing this because I want you all to be able to paint a picture in your head that it was just all physical that was taken away from her. My friend was surprised because she didn't even thought that a stroke patient, who survived two sets of brain surgery, who was told to be half-paralyzed could sound like normal and  bubbly and healthy at the same time. Fortunately, YES - my Mother she never sounds like she was sick -ever.

Her voice remained - Thank You to my God Almighty. But more than anything else, a lot remained the same compared to what was taken away. She practically crack jokes with her situation. She laughed when she knew they had to use diaper and wet wipes for her, she said " Kung kelan tayo tumanda tsaka tayo nag diaper at sosyal nag wet wipes pa " . She sometimes demands for " lechon kawali " and would jokingly say " Sige na, may gamot naman ako sa high-blood diba?". Everyday, she does more wonders than she did before.

Thank You to my God Almighty. I remember exactly how things were like for me and for my family and friends a year ago. I still get teary-eyed whenever I imagined how you brought angels in our lives to aid me and my family from the pain we were going through. I will forever be grateful to my Family of both sides - to Mama and Papa, for showing that we will always be a family - no matter what. 

Thank You to my friends - from the closest and even to those acquaintances who extended so much love and concern to me and to Mama and for our family. You just don't know how your mere presence, or long distance phone calls comforted our souls and our THANK YOU's will never be enough. 

Miracles do happen everyday. It happens even when we least expect it. God really sees the desires of the hearts. My experience last year did not only brought me closer to God, to my Family and to my friends. It also brought me closer to everyone around me. It was when I realized that we all live for each other and when one is in need we all have one another to come and rescue. It was an experience that I will forever be grateful for , an experience that I will forever hold dear in my heart. I watched as miracles unfold right before my eyes each day. When the doctors said they had to put a hole on my Mama's right side to pave way for her food after her re-stroked because she's having a difficult time swallowing even a spoonful of water and they were scared she might be choked , I watched as how she made miracles happen. The doctors said if after four days there is significant change , they will reconsider, so she needs to drink water straight without choking,  doctors said  they had to practice her with a spoonful of water from time to time. Four days later, my Mama showed her doctors how she can eat ' jelly ace ' without choking  and she told her doctors  " My jelly ace are sugar-free, don't worry ". Doctors had no choice and declared her as - ' tough cookie '.

She was discharged with no hole on her side. How great is that? When shes alone in her room, I can see her holding and praying the rosary. I never heard her complained. My Mama is so awesome and my God is the Greatest. 

THANK YOU - to everyone who was part of the journey. To my Family for the love and support. For my friends for all the concern, support and prayers. Thank You to my Mama's friend who even bothered to put up a prayer brigade - whose prayers are a great source of comfort and shield. Thank You to the Priests - ( I wish I took their names ) - for giving Mama the ' Anointing of the sick ' , for visiting and praying her over before each of her operations, and for conveniently giving us the chance to do a confession inside Mama's hospital room. Thank You to those who brought flowers, food, and fruits. Those who brought tears of joy, laughter and hugs. To those who paid visit everyday that the Doctors had to request the nurse's station to put a sign on my Mama's door - " NO VISITORS ALLOWED " because she needs time to rest and friends and family kept pouring in. Thank You to those who sent Money ( friends from Dubai and USA ), my relatives, friends, and to those I forgoot to mention - you were the reason why I can't believe how I can't even close my wallet because I have so much cash and the reason why my bank account soar so high I feel like I won a lottery. Thank You for you made my day bearable.  Thank You to my Bosses in the office, whose understanding are unquestionable and support is never-ending. Thank You for allowing me the time to be back home and be the daughter my Mama needed me to be .From the bottom of my heart - 

MARAMING MARAMING SALAMAT PO.

I have often said this and I will say it once again. If there is one thing I learned and glad I realized from that experience it was DIVINE PROVIDENCE. It was really already promised. I will never fear another trying times, because indeed MY GOD ALMIGHTY WILL PROVIDE.

I am forever grateful,

gracy

Where is my Valentine?

Artifact. Remnants. Residue.

WELCOME MY 2013 - Be My BEST once AGAIN