To GOD be the GLORY ...

I started my 2012 with a very positive perspectives and decided to only entertain good thoughts. Indeed, my year started just right. On the first month we celebrated my Mother's 60th birthday, happy and healthy. But on the second month of 2012 we found our families and friends gathered around her hospital bed. Who would have thought that I will one day see my Mama like how she is right now, pale and physically weak.

Over the past 2 weeks my Mom survived two separate operations , the doctors called them 'craniectomy' a surgery where they had to cut a portion of her skull to release pressure in her swollen brain. To be very honest, I never held a doubt in my heart, not even a single one that my Mother would'nt survive because I know for sure she will and YES , with the help of our dear Lord, she did.

What makes it difficult on the other hand was to see my mother go through the physical pain. It hurts all the more when you see her traumatized everytime she sees a nurse or  doctors around her, she would constantly asked if they are to inject medicines to her again. She'd always say, ' masakit na kasi ' ... If I can only replace her and cover her from all the pain I will never have a second thoughts because I will do anything and everything for my Mother.

I remember holding her hands while I accompany her to the operating room, that was the closest I have ever come to my mother. It feels real and I was literally holding her hand for her dear life. I wasn't really worried about her operation because I have surrendered and lift everything up to the Lord the minute I knew she was again hospitalized but I was worried about whose hand she's going to hold inside the surgery room. I ached for her that day.

With no surprised after 3 hours of waiting which by the way felt like eternity, my mother came out lucid and conscious but to my dismay her grandeur only lasted for 2 days until she started to sleep most of the time and the only way to wake her up was when we have to inflict pain in her body, like pinching her skin, calling her name outloud like literraly screaming or when we the doctor had to pressed her chest quite hard then she'd come back to life for a moment and she would sleep again. They had to perform another CT Scan and the result showed another brain swelling.

I was again confronted with a waiver and a consent in referrence to her surgery. I was really crying the whole time because I cannot believe the responsibility I was given. I was signing a piece shit of paper and it feels like signing for my mother's life and I can't afford any wrong judgement. While the doctors was explaining the benefits and the risk we are about to make, I found myself walking out from them, crying , I headed to the chapel, cried all the more and I prayed. For the first time in my life I have said a prayer that I meant too well. I only said a few words, I said  'God, I need your divine intervention. I need you to help me make not only the best but the right judgement'. And so we went on to the second surgery and again , with no surprised , she made it.

I am currently writing this entry right beside my sleeping mom. She was awake for morethan 24hrs after the surgery. She was not given any sleeping pills because they had to assess her progress but fortunately she grew tired and fell asleep finally. She is still a little disoriented, her past memories are very much intact, she's good at voice and face recognition. She remembers names very well and can recognized friends and families. She's only a little disoriented with the present and current events. She's President is still GMA. She can't tell you it's 2012 and she acts like a little kid sometimes. This is indeed a true test of faith and patience.

I intend to share this online because I realized that what happened to my mother brought joy and gratefulness in my heart instead of anger and unrelenting questions on why this had to happen to my mother? This became a blessing instead and an avenue to truly know the people in my life who will stick around no matter what. I feel so blessed because I learned how many people loved my mother and how many people loved me too. Our visitors varies from her friends and mine. Even the finaces was very much provided. Just to share we spend not little less than 5k a day for her medicines and we're in the hospital for over a week now , my wallet is still full , my mom's medicines are complete before the day ends, and I still have enough to go by the next day. I sat earlier on my alone time and I smiled because Irealized that Divine providence is true.

My friends from Dubai and USA extended their help too just in time for her surgery. My mother's friends who never leave the room without giving me something , I once jokingly told them , it was as if they were paying an entrance fee to see my Mama ( haha!! ). One of my friend's Mom sent me food in the hospital and continued to offer me foods everyday. My friends who visits me everyday in time for lunch because they knew I hadn't eaten anything yet and would buy me free lunch. Friends and Families whou would come visit, brought fruits/foods/comforting words and never-ending prayers for her. Such overwhelming way of facing the trials altogether.

This is only an affirmation how good my mother is. This is only an affirmation on how lucky I am to have know who are the people in my life, my real people and what is more gratifying to know is that i have found the right people and I have the right people all along. How blessed I am for that? Blessed enough to know that I will never fear another trying times because like how my mom would say it .. " I have a greater God and I have the right set of people in my life " ..

From the bottom of my heart and for sure from MOM:

Thank You to our Families and Friends whom by all means stayed with us, prayed with us, rejoiced with us. Thank You to my Mother's friends whose greatest weapon was prayer, whose faith is unfathomable, whose words of comfort are reassuring. Thank You for always including Mama in your daily prayer. Thank You for putting up the prayer brigade. Thank You to my friends too, who stayed with me while I waited for Mama outside the O.R and for staying still and spending time whenever they can. Thank You for bringing priests and nuns to pray over her. Thank You for the long distance calls just to check how am I coping things. Thank You for wishing her well, for strenghtening our faith and for comforting our souls.

Lastly, Thank You Dear Lord , for the gift of life. Thank You for bringing her back to life and Thank You for I know that she's healed by you already. Thank You for providing our family the strenght to hold to you and for giving us the faith through your words. Thank You, from the bottom of my heart, Thank You for giving MAMA NORA to me and to our family.

 MAHAL na MAHAL ko po ang NANAY na BINIGAY NINYU..

THANK YOU ONCE AGAIN.

gvgracy..