.. memoir ..

I'm pretty sure that I am like those normal kids who grew up with their favorite stuff toys on their bed while they sleep. I don't know when did we ever learned that sleeping along side with a teddy bear or along with any other cute stuffed toy is amusing. But I think, just like me I find comfort in them. I remember sleeping with Mickey Mouse and Pooh Bear for almost  years until I moved out and moved on with that little fetish I have.

or at least I thought so ..



Meet ' deedeecow ' .. I no longer have him with me now. But he used to be my constant companion, while sleeping and while I was at home and left with nothing to do. He used to hug me back when we're sleeping , he stayed in my bed longer than usual and longer than I ever had. He's pretty much aware of how drama queen I was when we're alone in the room and he just satres back at me like he literally understands. I thought sleeping alongside Mickey Mouse and Pooh Bear was a thing of the past , but along came ' deedeecow ' and he made me realized that it will always be amusing and comfotable and reassuring to have a constant companion who never rants back at you no matter what. My time with him ended splendidly , but I wish I took him with me. He has grown to be so mcuh a part of me as I was with him for sure. I wish he's not tucked away with all the dust he can ever collect. If I have him today with me , I am imagining this gigantic empty box in the office where we can freely drop a toy, book, old clothess or whatever you feel like giving to our sister's and brother's , kids and the like for christmas, I would have imagine placing him myself on that half-full box. I don't intend to give him away just like that , but I would gladly give him away to whoever would be lucky enough to have him. I would like to extend and share the same comfort he's given me , the same happy feeling I get whenever I make fun of him , the same look on his face whenever I rant to death as if he completely and utterly understands. And best of all , I want to share that same constant smile on his face , enough to lighten up whatever state we are all in.

I wish my ' deedeecow ' is still in a tender loving arms. Missin' him much!